Caralee to the Rescue!

Randy and I have both been sick since the wee hours of Tuesday morning. It has continued through this morning and I'm just now able to hold down some tea and toast. Randy returned to work today. However, there was a time on Tuesday afternoon when we were both down for the count and called in for backups. Caralee dropped everything and went out in the horrible weather to bring us some needed supplies. We thought for sure we could do better with saltines, 7up and chicken noodle soup. That did not happen. Things seemed better for a short while and then the whole situation turned worse for me. I thought by this morning that I might head to the hospital. Finally, Dr. Wilson (Randy), checked on the web for dehydration info and we began to turn things around. I was able to sleep. (Thanks be to God.) I'm still very weak, but feel like I'm improving. I hope this is not another false start. I sure am thankful that Caralee was available to help. Randy got better after she brought him some nourishment. YOU'RE THE BEST, CARALEE!

An Eventful Weekend

Last night we attended the blessing service at Pleasant Valley Church of Christ. There were a lot of new babies at their church to be blessed. I've never seen so many babies in a sanctuary before! Of course, Lydia was the prettiest and the best behaved baby in the church. She had a beautiful dress with yellow trim and the sweetest bow in her hair.? She also had Trav's yellow blanket with her that Great-Grandma Minnie made for Travis when he was born. It was such a touching service and all of the babies were pictured individually on a slide show during a lovely song. I cried some, but it was a mixture of joy for Lydia and sadness missing my own baby. Afterwards, we all went to the Parkers' home for some delicious treats. They have such a lovely home and were so kind to include us in the group. I've included a few pictures from our evening. I wish we had more from the church but I was very pleased with the one Randy made of Jeni, Necon and Lydia following the service.

Randy and I have looked at a Patio Home/Townhouse for a couple of weeks now in Maumelle. We have wanted to downsize for quite a while. We really only use half of our space. After Trav's murder we feel that this is the right time to make the move and begin in a new location. Randy knows a young man who owns a local real estate office who came by the house to have a look so that he can come up with some comparison prices in the area during the last six months. He's made a few recommendations for small improvements. We began this last weekend with the first closet. Boy, that was a challenge! I did pretty well until I got to Trav's Teeny League baseball jacket. I'm sure Necon has one just like it somewhere. We'll keep trying to clear some things and pack boxes to store or sell. Making changes is an uncomfortable time anyway without the complication of missing Travis and having his things around. Say a little prayer that things will go smoothly and our house will not take long to sell. If you have a hankering to paint some walls we can accommodate you. :) Love to all.

Interesting Day

I had a call yesterday from Andrew's Mom, Joy. She asked if she could come to visit with us. I agreed and arranged for her to come today at 11:00. Her visit was only about 20 minutes. She wanted to let us know that she was thinking of us and wanted to help if there was anything that she could do. She let us know that she is also attending counseling and has been hurting for us. Apparently, she attends Quapaw Methodist Church where Steve Singleton's sister, Betsy, is the minister. She also has met his sister Gail and some of our friends who are there now from Henderson Methodist. She said that there have been many prayers for our family at their church. I shared the scripture cards that we gave to our guests on Sunday and the web address for GriefShare. We shed some tears together and Randy never spoke except for his greeting when she arrived.

Later, Randy and I began cleaning out a closet in the office so that we could begin to store some things away before we place our house on the market. I had a few emotional moments when we came upon Trav's baseball jacket. I guess I'll wait a while to attack his bedroom closet. I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet. We drove through the cemetery today to check on things and I always speak to Trav while I'm there. It's been quite a full day after all.

We're excited to go the the service at the Warriors church tomorrow evening for Lydia's blessing. We're also meeting Brad and Keri for lunch tomorrow so I guess it will be another full day. We seem to be staying very busy.

Thanks to all of you who keep in touch with us and check on us regularly. You're very good medicine. Love to you all.

Birthdays Galore!

OG & Josiah

It seems like my birthday has been going on for weeks. First, Sharon sent me flowers before my birthday and a beautiful engraved ring with an inspirational message. Next, I received flowers from Tommy, Karmin and Attacus. The following day I got flowers from Necon, Jeni and Lydia; a bracelet including Mexican food with the Pfeiffers. On Sunday I got more lovely flags from Becky and Steve, a fish charm from the McKinleys, Crocs from Jess, $ from Hazel and Lloyd, a sweet plaque from the Porters, a devotional book, dream catcher and teddy bear from Manuel and Beth and a warm-up suit from Laura. Plus, a special day with all of you sharing your memories. Now, to top it all off, today Jess treated me to a birthday lunch at Buffalo Grill and Beverly brought me a touching figure of a Mother & Son as well as dinner at Razorback Pizza. You guys have totally treated me like a queen. I cannot imagine that I've ever been treated in a more special way. 56 didn't hurt at all!
I've got to add that Randy and I were totally thrilled that the memorial to the AR Game and Fish Foundation donated on Sunday amounted to $665.00. I'm certain Travis was equally pleased to be remembered in such a meaningful way. Randy will make sure the donations are used to support the education program in north AR close to where Jo and Steve Wilson live. When Travis went with us to visit their home on the White River, he said, "this must be what heaven is like." We think of you every minute of the day, son.

Worked Today

OG and Lydia

Today I went back to work for the first time this week. It was a very busy day. I have found some peace in a decision to not take a medical leave and continue to work as many days as possible. This journey has sure been full of hills and valleys, but so far we've survived them all. My principal has been very supportive and understanding. She's not complained or been negative in any way. I'm fortunate to have that kind of boss. I think if I was home every day I'd go nuts for sure. It's been good for Randy and I to continue our visits to the counselor each week. His experience with counseling in the area of grief has been tremendously helpful to keep us on the right track. I feel blessed that God showed us a compassionate and knowledgeable professional to help. I felt emotionally and physically drained after Sunday, but I loved seeing everyone and hearing stories about Trav. That is the way we are going to keep him alive in our hearts. Thanks again for being a part of our celebration.

Fantastic Friends & Family

Pop & Josiah

Necon, Jeni and Lydia had driven all the way from OK.

Thanks for all of your help, Becky and Steve.
We were so thrilled to see everyone yesterday! Thanks for coming and sharing your laughter and love. It was a much-needed celebration of friendship and remembrances. I felt Trav with us as we connected with his love for us all. At times I felt like I was going to get emotional, but overall it was an outstanding day for us. I hope each of you enjoyed the company and are glad that you came. I loved having Sharon spend the night so we could have a chance to visit more. I don't want to spend a lot of time with words because there are so many wonderful pictures to share with you. Sorry if I happened to leave you out of pics. Randy and I love you all!

Hit It Runnin?

Picture of Trav's Confirmation Age 12

Randy had the alarm set this morning and I asked him why. He said, "I've got to hit it runnin". I replied, "Hit what?" Apparently he was under the impression that I was going to jump out of bed and do some chores. WRONG!

I didn't tell you that yesterday even the Hispanic lady, Herminia, and her sister-in-law, who come twice a month to clean the house, knew it was my birthday and I opened the door to a HAPPY BIRTHDAY song and flowers, teddy bear, Herminia's daughters, and a sweet card. They also work for my friend, Melissa, and had seen my birthday posted on her refrigerator!

We end every evening with a Bible reading, a GRIEFSHARE thought on e-mail, and an inspirational thought from the book, GRACE for the MOMENT by Max Lucado. Last night the reading began with a quote from Hosea 10:12, "Plant goodness, harvest the fruit of loyalty, plow the new ground of knowledge." Then M. Lucado continues, "Want to see a miracle? Plant a word of love heartdeep in a person's life. Nurture it with a smile and a prayer, and watch what happens....Seeds are planted, and topsoils of hurt are shoved away. Don't forget the principle. Never underestimate the power of a seed." I truly believe that Randy and I are fortunate to be harvesting Travis' efforts to nurture others with his smile and love. Thank you, Lord for allowing us to witness this miracle!

Yes, I'm Still Here

This is the picture that I have in my locket to see each day when I'm feeling blue. Magic Smile. I've had several friends comment that they've worried about me the last couple of days since I've not been writing. Wednesday and Thursday have been the hardest two days since Trav's murder. It's not hardly bearable to face your child's birthday without him to share it with you. Jeni, Necon and Lydia came over on Wednesday evening after work and brought supper. I'm afraid I wasn't very good company, but it sure was good to have them here for a while.

I was unable to work, but Randy did work some of the time. He was good to check on me and watch over me while I was hard to be around. Just be glad that you didn't have his job. :) Actually, he had just as hard a time as I did and we attempted to support each other. Now that we're past the middle of the week, we are looking forward to seeing everyone on Sunday. We felt very loved during the past week. Many of you have contacted us with cards, calls, text messages, e-mails, even flowers and food. You're making me very spoiled. We love you all.

I enjoyed my birthday dinner with Randy, Caralee and Neil. The HAPPY BIRTHDAY songs that I had to bear from Tina and Becky were even enjoyable. However, I can do without the reminders that I'm OLDER than everyone.

Tribute to Our Son

Trav was such a happy baby.

Our 2nd Christmas . What a cutie!

Randy and I began the day thinking of the night Travis was born. It was late and the Dr. decided on a c-section. All of the nurses and technicians around the room were guessing his weight. There were numbers flying everywhere. No one even came close to his final weigh-in. When the Dr. held Travis up for the two of us to see, it was as if a miracle had been performed in our presence. Here was a healthy, baby boy who had been knitted together by God perfectly in my womb and was now placed in our care. What an overwhelming joy we felt! Randy looked so proud when he held him the first time. But I never remember a time when he did not have that same pleased look on his face in Trav's company. They spent so much time together and enjoyed each other. Travis had inherited his dad's love for sports and his capabilities in the area of mathematics. However, Travis and I shared a love for music, laughter, games, talking, and movies. We were a very close-knit family who shared a tremendous bond of time and love. Travis knew how to "work his dad". (I can't imagine where he learned that.) He was generous to others and always appreciative of any type gift he received. He made a strong impression on friends and family alike. We may look different than we did at the beginning of this journey, but the love and bond remain strong. God has been good to our family. Without his peace and the angels he's placed in our midst, we could not have made any strides forward. Thank you, God, for the sacrifice of your Son so that we could have eternity with our own. He grew from a gifted, loving, respectful child, to a fine, handsome, talented Christian young man. We feel honored to have had such a blessing in our lives. We will always love you, son.

Lavish Celebration Prepared for Us

Beverly shared this with me today and I wanted to share it with all of you. We're looking forward to seeing you on Sunday. Hope everyone can make it.
A sick man turned to his doctor,
as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side." Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know." "You don't know?
You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door;
on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,
and as he opened the door,
a dog sprang into the room
and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said,
"Did you notice my dog?
He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.
I know little of what is on the other side of death,
but I do know one thing..
I know my Master is there and that is enough."

Getting Closer

I did go to work today. Actually, when I was asked by a couple of people how I was doing I mentioned that it was a difficult week because Trav's birthday is Wednesday. I surprised myself by speaking about it. The day was tremendously busy with classes and individual students with needs. I never had a spare moment to hardly think about personal feelings. Amazingly I held myself together today and accomplished a lot of things that needed to be done without ever getting emotional. That was a great relief! I even dealt with an irate parent without allowing myself to get pulled into her frustrations. I am looking forward to seeing everyone on Sunday afternoon. It will be fun to hear the stories that you've remembered. I'm having trouble deciding on just one to share. All of you are so special to our family and we feel truly honored that you've agreed to come celebrate Travis' life with us. God bless you all.

Day at the Movies

We went to see THE BUCKET LIST with Jeni and Necon today. It was a funny movie and we saw many other previewed ones that we can't wait to go see. Of all people, we ran into Shella and Tommy Hagan after the movie. We haven't seen them in quite a while. It was so good to visit with them. They never change. After our healthy lunch of salad, we've been trying to figure out what we want to go find for dessert. I guess we'll go driving and spot something along the way.

Earlier this week we went to Conway to attend a birthday dinner for Steve Singleton. Becky had invited us to join several others at the Brick Oven Grill. It was great to live close enough to them to just drive over for dinner. I've really missed having Becky near me. I guess I didn't realize how much until recently since they've moved to Conway and we've been able to spend so much time together. I've depended on her so much the last several months.

Caralee came over on Wednesday and stayed with me while I was sick with a migraine. She's always eager to do whatever she can to help. She helps me just by being near me.

I spoke to Sharon for a while today on the phone. It's always so uplifting to hear the sound of laughter in her voice. She's a very loving friend. She sent me flowers today. I was so surprised. I also got to talk for a little bit with my cousin, Randy. He's not going to be able to come to the Birthday Celebration, but will be here in spirit. Love you, Ran. God has blessed us with such compassionate family and friends. Not everyone has experienced the grace of God in their lives. Randy and I feel very fortunate to feel God's presence with us in the form of all of our angels.

Arkansas Game and Fish Foundation

Check out the website for the AGFF and read the Heritage page.

http://www.agff.org/heritage.htm
Tell me who do you think of when you read this description? Travis, of course. He loved the beauty and resources of our magnificent state as much as anyone I've ever known. Maintaining this wonderful gift Arkansans have been given will be a tremendously appropriate tribute to our son. He loved every aspect of the outdoors and created hundreds of memories with his friends and family there. I feel blessed to have lived my entire life in this gorgeous state and Travis took advantage of every opportunity to enjoy its wonders.

Great Response

Randy and I are so excited that we've heard from 40 people about coming on the 20th. Don't forget that you need to be thinking of something funny that happened while you were with Trav. I know that there are a million incidents or more where we've had laughs together. I don't want to monopolize the storytelling. You're going to have to help with some good ones, too! Even if you dare to embarrass yourself a little, you'll survive, I promise. If you choose to write a check for tax deduction purposes, make it out to Arkansas Game & Fish Foundation. Please know that you're not expected to make a donation in order to come. We want to see all of you here regardless with a big smile on your face! Love to everyone!

ANTICIPATION

The last two days I've been down with a migraine and unable to be at work. It gives me so much happiness to look forward to seeing everyone and having a fun day visiting and sharing happy memories. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll be back at work and make some money to help Randy pay the bills.:)

I'm hoping that my cousin, Gary, and his wife, Tina, will be able to join us that weekend to celebrate our birthdays together. My cousin, Randy, in Orlando has his birthday celebration with us each year in January even though he's just a baby and wasn't born until February. They both like to tease me about being OLDER than they are. I'm praying that he'll be able to make it to LR, also, for the weekend.

Celebration of Trav's Birthday

On Sunday, January 20th, we'll be celebrating Trav's birthday with cake, ice cream, goodies you want to bring, and

lots of funny stories

that you want to share. Also, we'll have a basket available if you want to make a donation to the Arkansas Game and Fish Foundation in memory of Travis. We look forward to seeing all of you at 2:00 that day or whenever you can make it after that. You can come and stay as long as you'd like. Please contact us regarding whether or not you will be able to come. Hope to see you here.

Love to you all,

Karen & Randy

Court Update

Today was what they call an ACT III hearing where the court-ordered mental evaluation is returned. Randy and I, as well as the prosecutor, were not pleased with the report that came back. It concluded that because of Andrew's mental disease, Paranoid Schizophrenia and Cocaine Abuse, that he did not have the capacity to appreciate the criminality of his conduct at the time of the crime. Nor did he have the capacity to conform to the requirements of the law. However, he was capable of understanding the legal proceedings and had the capacity to assist effectively in his own defense.

We were very disappointed in the outcome and fortunately the Prosecutor was able to obtain an order from the judge to have him evaluated by a doctor at the state hospital instead of someone being used outside their agency as they did for the first evaluation.

Bottom line is there will be another Act III hearing on March 24, 2008 to hear the results of the next evaluation. At that time most likely the judge will decide to set a trial or hearing date. Keep praying for God's will to be done in this situation. No matter what the conclusion, Travis will not be returned to us. I need to keep my focus on my son and the Lord, not this legal mumbo jumbo.

" Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all of the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6 We know Trav is watching over us in the arms of Jesus.

Friends are a Gift

Well, it happened again today. I came home after lunch too upset to continue working. Court is tomorrow morning and I'm having a difficult time focusing on other things right now. When I opened my e-mail there was a very touching message from Caralee including the scripture from Sunday's service, Psalm 31. Randy and I read the Bible daily and often turn to the book of Psalms. I did not actually need to be reminded that Caralee and her family are praying for us and love us. That is a constant source of blessing in our lives. We are so fortunate to have been given so many loving and compassionate friends. The best news is that they will be with us throughout eternity when we are rejoined with Trav. We love you all.

Irish Blessing

Today has been a totally heart-wrenching day! I've cried and prayed and felt totally confused and afraid. Then my dear friend, Tina, sent this message to me. Isn't it amazing how God uses the angels in our midst to carry out His plan? My spirits were lifted and the hopelessness and despair that I was feeling were washed away. I hope when you read this, it will bring you the same relief.

IRISH BLESSING

I wish you not a path devoid of clouds,

Nor a life on a bed of roses,

not that you might never need regret, nor that you should

never feel pain. No, that is not my wish for you.

My wish for you is:

That you might be brave in times of trial, when others lay

crosses upon your shoulders.

When mountains must be climbed and chasms are to be

crossed; when hope scarce can shine through.

That every gift God gave you might grow along with you.

And let you give the gift of joy to all who care for you.

That you may always have a friend who is worth that

name. Whom you can trust, and who helps you in times of

sadness. Who will defy the storms of daily life at your side.

One more wish I have for you:

That in every hour of joy and pain you may feel God close

to you.

This is my wish for you, and for all who care for you.

This is my hope for you, now and forever.

With all of my love,

Karen

The Champs

This past fall Jeremy put together a softball team to play at Maumelle. Trav has played with him in the past and managed the team, so Jeremy asked Randy if he'd help with the details. Randy agreed to help and to fill in on the team as needed. However, that turned into playing most of the games and the team turning into more of the "old guys" than the young ones at times. It was a great distraction for Randy and he loved being around Trav's friends on a regular basis. The team wanted Trav's initials on their jersey sleeves. We thought that was a very special acknowledgement of their feelings for Trav. The team not only participated in the league, they WON THEIR DIVISION! Thanks for the picture, Jeni. It's a great picture of everyone.

Back to Work

Today I had to return to work after my 2 week break. I really had a hard time getting into the meetings because my body was not ready to be there. I was frustrated that we had to sit through meetings all day when I had so much work to do in my office. Thankfully, Randy brightened my day by taking me to Buffalo Grill for lunch. It made the afternoon easier to bear. Next Tuesday we have to return to court and I'm already feeling the emotions associated with seeing Andrew and thinking about the horrible way he killed Travis. I know I'm only supposed to think about today. OK. I'm trying.

Josiah's Home

OG gets to enjoy both grandkids!

Daddy holding Josiah and Grandma Beth playing with Lydia.

Posing for our mugshot!

Randy and I made our first visit to Keith and Tasha's last night. Guess I need to add Josiah's name to that list. They have a very welcoming and comfortable home. Josiah was very quiet and slept most of the time we were there. Lydia was keeping all of us entertained. Beth brought some wonderful spaghetti to have for dinner. It's always a pleasurable experience when we're together with the Warrior family. I've always understood Trav's attraction to this group. I think at times he believed he was an official Warrior. They always put everyone at ease. You come away feeling loved and appreciated.

Visiting Tasha and Josiah at Hospital

Chief and Pop adore Josiah!

We all gathered at our house to watch the Razorbacks at the Cotton Bowl. Manuel, Beth, Jeremy, Meredith, Necon and Lydia. Jeni had to work today. After the game was over and we'd all had our potato soup, we went to the hospital to visit Jeni, Tasha, Keith and Josiah. Lydia confirmed the plans with her mommy on the phone. Josiah's really changed a lot in a couple of days. Each of us took turns going to visit him in the nursery. Chief and Pop posed for a picture with Josiah.

Grandma Beth and Lydia took a hog break and posed for their official photo together. Lydia's wearing one of her new outfits we got her in Florida.