Keeping Busy

Last night Beverly stayed at our house while Randy was gone to OK for softball after she treated me to supper at Carino's. We stayed up pretty late making room plans for our new home and visiting. I always enjoy my time with Beverly. She's such an understanding friend and easy to talk to about things in my heart and on my mind. Today we got up early, had breakfast and went to the Bassett Furniture Store to see the fabric samples for the furniture Randy and I ordered. While we were there I found a perfect side table for the living room. Our next stop was the lighting store in Maumelle for Beverly to check out the fixtures we selected. After cruising through the neighborhood to see the progress on our property, we had Mexican food at a restaurant there which I'd never tried before. It was pretty good. We drove out to Keo to visit Morris Antiques with strict instructions from Randy that we were "just looking". We didn't see anything that we really wanted to buy anyway. It was a full day of running around.

Both Darin and Jeremy had called to invite me to church so I met them and Meredith at church. The service was more meaningful than the last one I attended. I enjoyed the message and the music. After church I went to eat at Cock of the Walk with Jeremy, Meredith, John and his wife, Laura. The visit was nice and I was glad I kept busy all day. I've missed Randy, but he's called a couple of times today to report on the games. In the first 3 games he was 12/14 and had hit 5 home runs! I hate that I missed all of that excitement. I'll be glad when he's home tomorrow.

The Birds are Singing

It's a beautiful morning. The birds are singing all around me while I sit outdoors. There's even an owl hooting somewhere in the distance. He's always around. I don't think he knows that he's supposed to be a nocturnal species, because it seems that everytime I come out, I hear him hooting away. Their songs remind me that God's creation is in order and that His awesome power is all around me. As a child of God I have assurances that all things are possible when we rely on our Father and keep our eyes on Him. God's strength will sustain us through each moment and His arms will be there to catch me when I allow my focus to stray. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband and friends to uplift my spirits and reassure me of God's love. I'm so unworthy of God's gifts of grace and salvation, but I praise Him for forgiving my sins and promising me eternal life with my son whose presence is painfully lacking in my earthly life. The hole in my heart has not begun to mend, but I know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Travis, I miss you this morning and every morning. It sure would be a good Jeep driving day. All of my love, Mama.

Court Today

Today the Prosecutor that we usually meet with was not there. He was on vacation. The senior prosecutor was not as familiar with our situation, but she shared with us the findings of the last Dr. from the state hospital. It was his conclusion that Andrew did have a mental disease, but it did not interfere with his ability to understand the charges against him in the court, nor did it diminish his mental capacity to understand his actions on May 31st. Since the previous doctor's report was different, the court ordered a hearing for June 24th to have each of the doctors present to explain their findings. At that time, the judge will make a decision regarding Andrew's capability to stand trial and set a trial date. Up to this point none of the time has counted toward the year allowed for a speedy trial. Therefore, there could still be delays. We are hoping that the judge will rule in favor of setting a trial date without further delays and we can have this ordeal of attending court and seeing Andrew behind us once and for all. The bottom line is that none of this will bring Travis back to us and we are forced to move forward without him during this lifetime. We appreciate the compassion that our friends and family have shown to us. We thank God for each of you every day.

God's Promises

Randy and I enjoyed the Easter service from Pulaski Heights Methodist this morning. It is the message of Easter that helps us to face each day. The grave is not the end but the beginning of a glorious life with our Savior. The simple traditions of our past with Travis and our family have made the day more solemn, but in our hearts we are assured that God is faithful and will fulfill His word in all of its glory. We are blessed to have so many years full of beautiful memories of family Easters. I especially smile when I think of Travis being excited each year to find his Easter clothes. He loved to "dress up" and was very pleased with himself when he looked in the mirror. I've got to admit I was thrilled that he was always eager to attend church with Randy and I. It was always understood that Sunday included worship. On those special occasions when he would get to buy clothes, he was always ready to shop. He was so much fun!

Happy Birthday, Mama

Yesterday would have been my mom's 80th birthday. I've often wished that she could have lived past the age of 48 in order to see my family and have a relationship with my son. Now I'm sure they're all together watching down on us and protecting us. My mom, Aunt Pat, Grandma Minnie, Daddy, my brother, Bill, and so many more. Look after my angel until I get there, Mama. Travis, I miss you, my darlin. Everything that I do now seems to have a different purpose than before. There are so many ways your life contributed to my dreams and aspirations for the future. Now, I'm not finding value in things of this world, except for friendships and the love of your daddy. All of you look after each other and keep visiting me whenever you get a chance in my dreams. I'm missing my hugs and kisses terribly.

Always,

Mama

Visited New Life Church

Randy and I met Jeremy, Meredith, and Parker last night at New Life Church in Maumelle and visited their Saturday evening service. It was attended by more people on Saturday than I anticipated. The service was interesting, but I'm anxious to hear the regular pastor. There was a visiting speaker last night. We also received communion which I appreciated since we haven't had the sacraments since Christmas Eve. Today is Palm Sunday. 26 years ago today was the first time Travis attended church as a 3 month old baby. We still have the palm branch from the service in his baby book. I've been contemplating the significance of this Easter season and Resurrection with much more diligence. My hope lies in the promises of eternal life and being with My Lord and family forever. Thank you, God, for sending your Son to save humanity.

Things are Moving Fast Around Here

The changes are becoming very real quickly. Packing away our personal belongings in order to put the house on the market has been a real eye-opener. This is really happening. It's odd how your belongings don't seem as valuable as they did in the past, when you have a tremendous loss in your life. Nothing that we own seems as important to me anymore. The only thing I really want at this point is my Travis and he's not here. Starting over in a new home will be a positive move for Randy and I. We definitely do not use all of this house anymore and it's full of lots of thoughts and shadows that are holding me in the past. God is my strength and protector. He's my help in these troubled times. Love to you all.

Karen